In 1997, by grace of Gurudev and God, I was blessed with the vision of divine light at my eyebrow centre. Though it lasted only for a fraction of second, my mind was set on fire. As the spark of a matchbox lights the dry wood; similarly this very little vision started my journey to a path which was absolutely new to me. Neither had I heard about it nor had I ever known about its existence.

When I joined the yog ashram in Bhilai for my sciatica problem, I really liked occasional practices of dhyan which were conducted by Swami Devshankaranand Ji at that time. I used to derive a lot of mental peace and satisfaction after the practices of yog nidra or antarmouna. But nothing like this I had ever imagined! As a child becomes impatient and greedy after tasting a delicious pudding, I became greedy. Greedy for that vision! Day and night my mind would be tormented by that experience. The worst part of it was that it was far beyond my control. The harder I tried to visualize it, the more desperate I became! Under the able guidance of Swami Ji, I gradually came to terms with the A, B, C, and D of spirituality. As an expert teacher and a master of this line, he gently told me, “not to get impatient because it is not going to give any result.” He said, “Only practice is in your hands, leave the rest to God.” Though I did not say anything to him but internally I was not at all convinced by his advice. I did not have any other alternative except to believe him and try to obey him. As he was very much enthusiastic about my awakening, he encouraged, cajoled and guided me with a zeal which surprised me at that time. With his internal powers he could assess my state easily. He was too happy to guide me to advance on this sure short path of bliss and happiness.

One more thing that I discovered in myself was that enchanted by this experience, which could render such deep happiness even in a fraction of second; I tried hard to persuade all my friends by telling them about my own experience. Since Swami Ji strictly told me not to discuss my experiences with any one. He said, “People will declare you mad and laugh at your cost.” I obeyed him and restrained from discussing my own experiences. I tried my level best to persuade them to do ‘Om chanting’ or Pranayama at home. I used to go to their homes, tried to make them practice, what I was practicing. Only one or two of them paid little attention to me. Since my zeal must have been infectious, they thought it as a passing fancy and considered me an over enthusiastic.

One more experience I would like to quote here is when my friend’s mother in law suffered from cancer, she was in great pain and misery. I used to be deeply moved by her plight. So with the guidance of Swami Ji, I used to go to their house at 11a.m. after finishing my household chores and classes in summer with an umbrella. I used to make her practice ‘yog nidra’ (which she liked very much) along with breath awareness on Ram as she was a devotee of Ram. To my dismay some other people who came to know about it; tried to dissuade me, “oh God we are scared lest you should renounce home and become a sanyasin.” I used to get disturbed thinking that if I was treading the wrong path. But Swami Ji never let me falter by his assurances. He would laugh loudly and say, “You are on the right path and that is the only path which can lead to happiness.”

Now I look back realize, had it not been for his guidance, I would have been swayed by foolish remarks of worldly people. Then came the big bane of ‘Ahamkar’ in light. I used to be very proud pf this achievement which I thought others were unable to achieve. But Swami Ji would say, “oh ji, you have not achieved any thing till now.” This remark used to dampen my ego for some time but it persisted. And the best part (which I realize now) was that I was fully aware of it. How naive had I been! And God! So smart He is! By showing me little glimpses, He captured my very being for His work!

The more I become aware of this, the realization dawns on me, how little I understand Him! I am too ignorant, naïve to know His ways. E.g. an ant can take only a little from a sugar candy and thinks that she has known the whole; His ways are known only to Him! No one can know Him without His grace. He is a master manipulator! He is almighty! Every thing in this world is done by Him. He is the Doer.

I feel deeply blessed as He has chosen me to become His instrument.

Since my childhood, I had been very much interested in reading a monthly magazine ‘Kalyan’ published by Gita press, Gorakhpur. The article “Pado, Samjo Aur Karo” (Read understand and do) written by a saint Sri Hanuman Poddar in the form of short inspiring stories of good deeds was my favorite. It revealed power of deep faith in God. Service and charity were highly glorified in many of the stories. Though too young to understand the significance of all those teachings at the young age of 8-10 years, I immensely enjoyed them. Reading verses and short stories of Ramayan were also enjoyed very much. The life history of Tulsidas, I found  amazing. The one turning of his life made him one of the greatest saints who became immortal by writing the great epic ‘Ramayan’. Before that, he was an ordinary mortal seeped in worldliness like most of us.

Kalidas became a learned poet after getting inspiration from watching a mark on the stone at a well, due to continuous rubbing of the rope. Sincerity and hard work are extremely important for success. And practice makes a man prefect is true even today. Whenever my lower mind provoked me to become lazy, I derived a lot of strength by reminding my self the example of great poet Kalidas. And I have no shame in admitting that it is because of this teaching, that I became very sincere and hard working. Many gold medals and silver medals were awarded for my distinctions in academics.

When I joined Yog Ashram, Sector 10, Bhilai in 1997 for my severe back ache due to slip disc, my late guru Swami Devshankarananda inspired me greatly by his selfless, gentle and loving devotion to the cause of yoga. His patience and zeal in handling the students was infectious. He instilled a deep sense of faith and positive thinking. The gradual transformation of my sick body to a healthy person revealed the power of Yoga to me. And I realized Yoga as a complete physical, mental and spiritual science from my own experience.

Swami Niranjananand saraswati’s article “Kalp Taru Ki Chaaon Mein” in monthly magazine of Yog Vidya, clarified a lot of my doubts. His approach on spirituality, attaining virtues is very modern and scientific. My logical mind could grasp it easily as they were of my low level and very easy to understand. In very simple and easy language he delivers the message of Param guru Sivananda i.e. of selfless service and universal love.

When an uncle of mine (who is a devotee of Great guru Swami Sivananda), came to my house for a few days, Swami Sivananda entered my life. He swept me off my feet by his sheer simplicity, selflessness and generosity. Through his books, his untiring zeal to serve, love and give was revealed to me. He was a great teacher who taught by practicing not preaching. He has written more than 300 books on diverse topics. His teachings are extremely simple, easy to follow, highly practical and rewards are amazing. Service was his passion. He served one and all with ‘Narayan Bhav’ i.e. like Lord Narayan. Even the poor, criminals and foreigners found a solace in his ashram. For him each creation of God was important. He served the sweepers and saints with one bhav and washed their feet and prostrated before them. He worshipped his own disciples on many occasions and nurtured their spiritual progress with great love and care of a devoted father. He encouraged all his disciples to lead a divine life irrespective of their religion and nationality. As he was a doctor by profession, he served millions of sick and needy, poor sadhus, pilgrims who came to Rishikesh. Even after attaining the highest, his humiliity was intact. He gave his ashtang yoga which consists of following eight steps – SERVE – Love – Give – Purify – Be Good – Do Good – Meditate – Realize.

The teachings of Swami Vivekananda and Ramkrishna Paramhamsa have left an indelible mark on my personality. The zeal and dynamism of Vivekananda and simplicity of Ramakrishna is a unique combination. Recently Paramhamsa yogananda came to my heart when I read his simple and beautiful teachings in a spiritual diary.

All these saints have enriched my life greatly. My personality has been transformed greatly. A sense of deep peace fills my inner being. The demons of anger, anxiety, tension, worry cannot attack my psyche now. Of course they are there but only as a visitor on the road, whom I humorously wish hello and say good bye coolly. They now dare not enter my life, my inner being and ruffle me for more than a few minutes. I want to serve one and all, in what ever little way I can. I try to see God in my maid servant and my students. My maid’s children are channels of divine energy with whom I perform tulsi puja in the evening and teach them mantras and kirtans. Both me and my husband derive great pleasure by helping the poor and needy. The radiant faces of children give immense pleasure to both of us. The little prasadam, little doses of moral teachings are greedily grasped by children. And me! I feel on the top of the world!

O’GURUDEV

Give me courage and inner spiritual strength to carry out your mission selflessly. Please protect me from falling into the grip of vanity, name and fame. Let viveka be my sword and vairagya my armour and your teaching my inspiration. Let me help become myself a perfect instruement of you so that your divine mission may take a new flight through it. Let my vision be enlightened by your eternal light and spiritual awakening.